Recently she posted a link to an article on Simple Homeschooling. The article was titled I want to Homeschool, but I don’t want the Responsibility. Ouch! I think we can all admit we know homeschoolers who do a fantastic job. We know others that we don’t quite understand how they do it, but it seems to work. And then there are others that probably don’t want the responsibility. This article made me step back and reexamine how I’m doing. Always a good thing…especially when my kids’ futures are at stake.
What do you think? Does cuddling on the bed with my three-year-old and reading to her and then having her read the letters in words to me count as schooling? You bet…those are the building blocks of reading. She knows her letters and now she’s getting an understanding that those individual letters to together to form words. Key learning steps. She also wants to do flashcards. Does it matter that I’m showing her how the numbers translate to her fingers? Nope…because again that’s giving her concrete ways to translate something that’s written to real life.

Then that first article led me to another. Isn’t that the way blogs go? This post caught my eye because it was titled I refuse to Steal My Kids Dreams. It referenced a Seth Godin e-book Stop Stealing Dreams (that you can download for free at the link). In it he addresses the breakdown in the education system and also talks about homeschoolers. I’ve downloaded his book — but haven’t read it yet. But I found the ideas and her counter-points engaging — engaging enough for me to go grab his book.

This last post on Exploring Online Learning was simply interesting as I begin to consider possible online classes for my 11 year-old.

So what’s a blog you’ve encountered lately that kept you reading? What about its content made it so engaging?

Even so, physical fitness is important to me. When I don’t find a way to wedge it into my days, I get grouchy, stressed, and depending on the day ansty. If I’ve established any sort of exercise routine, my body lets me know that it appreciates the chance to let off steam. So what’s a homeschooling mom to do?

Over the years, I’ve had to get creative:

• For a wonderful season, I met twice a week with a neighbor to do Body Pump while her girls napped. We’d turn her basement into our personal gym and push our bodies while connecting and fellowshipping. Then she moved. I still haven’t recovered!

• I’ve trained for the Indianapolis 500 mini-marathon. There is nothing like knowing you will run 13.1 miles the first weekend in May to make this girl get on the treadmill or outdoors to run the miles necessary to not fall on my face. After the first year, I’ve made it my goal to run a little faster each time. I’ve taken years off when I was pregnant or had a small infant (my husband makes such crazy requests!), but it’s a great way to push my body and fitness levels at a time of year I just want to curl up with a good book. Did I mention I’ve learned how to read while running?

• I’ve invested in exercise DVDs. Because gyms don’t work for me at this season, I decided last year to take a small fraction of a gym membership and buy an assortment of workout DVDs. That’s meant some Jillian Michaels, a couple Denise Austin, and a few Turbo Jam. The result is that I have an assortment to choose from: everything from Jazzercise to yoga or Pilates. If I only have 25 minutes, I have a video for that. If I don’t want to sweat, I have a video for that. What I don’t have is an excuse not to exercise.

• Now that my children are getting older, I’ve incorporated family walks and bike rides into our schedule.  I could do more with this, but it’s another way to model a lifestyle of fitness.

How do you find time to exercise? Any tips you can share?

I have often heard my mom tell people that homeschooling is for every child…it’s just not for every parent. What she means is that every child can thrive in a one-on-one tutoring type instruction. It simply makes sense. Place a child with a caring instructor who can tailor his or her learning to the needs of that child and the child will learn and excel.

However, not every parent has the discipline, patience, endurance to make homeschooling work. I love my kiddos. Adore them even, but there are still days that it would be a lot easier to send them to a school. Fortunately, my kids would still do fine in a regular classroom environment. Yet we choose to keep them home even as we discuss the options available to us

Why?

• Homeschooling is a calling. It may not be a forever calling…I honestly don’t know…but I know this is where our kids are supposed to be right now.
• It allows our kids to accelerate at their own pace. Right now, both school age children work above their grade level — enough so that it would make it a little tricky to figure out where to place them. Still I also love that there’s freedom and margin to slow down when needed to insure a subject is mastered before we move ahead.
• I can make sure my children are learning the things that matter most to you. Yes, I am STRINGENT about the three r’s, but we start our day with devotions and Bible. This year we’ve read from Exodus through I Samuel. We’re talking about some hard issues and solidifying their understanding of Old Testament history. That’s critical to my husband and me.
• We have the flexibility to plan family adventures and school year round. Yes, even during the summer, I make my kids keep working on certain subjects: primarily math and one other area that I feel needs buttressing. But if I know I’ll need to be at a conference a week in September, we start a week earlier in August. Homeschooling gives you the flexibility to take advantage of unique opportunities while still schooling.

If you homeschool, what motivates you? If you’re considering it, what appeals to you and what scares you?

As I thought back to that night, I realized it set up a great dichotomy. My husband’s reaction to the manner our friends parented was that it was overly-strict. I simply reminded him that he tends to be grace-laden. So far that’s worked with our kids, but I won’t be surprised if one of our younger two requires a firmer hand.

This got me thinking. There are so many factors that go into parenting

• o   The temperament of each child
• o   What issues/vices that child is struggling with at that point in time
• o   The parent’s background
• o   The age of the child

I’m sure you could add to my list. I tend to be very black and white. As a result, I’ve focused on asking God to help me see each child and the heart issues that need to be addressed if any. I’ve also tried to remind myself that dependent on the age of my child, sometimes the things that seem blatantly out of line can simply be the child…being a child. There’s no intent behind the action…but there’s also no wisdom. So my job then is to help them find and remember what wisdom looks like in that environment.

Aren’t you glad that God entrusted you with the kids He did. It wasn’t some celestial mystic. Angel approaches God, “Sir, sorry, but those two got away from us.” No, He fully intended your children to be placed with you.

There are days it feels like a cosmic mistake. When those days come, ask God to reaffirm why He placed them with you. And ask for the wisdom to know how to partner with Him to parent your kids. I have a feeling that’s the kind of prayer He delights in answering.

The competing girls were all levels 3 & 4s. For many of them it was their first state competition. And their dreams were coming true.

Kids are like that. The kids on the left are my two oldest several years ago looking through binoculars on Mackinac Island. Kids have the biggest dreams. And as a parent I want to know how to focus in on the one that will lead to success and fulfillment. So what’s a parent to do?

1) I think the first thing we need to do is pray with our child about their dreams. Help them turn those dreams over to the one who created them and their dreams. Then I think we need to pray for wisdom to work with God to support those dreams to the best of our ability. For example, my oldest son want to be a Lego engineer. I don’t know how many of those there are in the world, but he loves Legos. Why not encourage him until he grows up more and decides on something else. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to find him working as an engineer of some sort.

2) Evaluate the practical ways to encourage the dream. Is there a class they need to take? A sport they should try? Do they need to stick with something they decide isn’t them through their commitment? My eleven and eight year old are in a children’s choir right now. It’s hitting that point of the school year that the fun has worn off. The songs are boring. They aren’t learning anything (from their perspective) etc. Doesn’t matter. To me, learning you have to finish what you start is as important as the singing.

3)  Ask God to show you what He’s working out in them through the dream and the experiences that dream generates. There are days I want to beg our oldest to give-up on her dream. It’s painful to watch her struggle. But the days she lights up because she’s learned a new skill or conquered a skill that eluded her are wonderful. I’ve asked God to show me if we reach a point where she needs to be redirected. Instead, He keeps showing me all the character she is developing.

I know He’ll do the same for you.

What tips would you add to these?

It’s that time of year. The time of year where if two homeschooling moms get together — even if it’s in the aisles of Wal-Mart — their thoughts turn to how their kids measure up.It’s that time where we wonder if we’ve really done a good job.

How would our kids compare to others? What if they got thrust into a traditional classroom? Would they be okay? Where would they be ahead? Where might they be behind?

Ack! What’s a mom to do?

This is the point in the school year where I take an honest assessment of my kids. Spelling has never been our strong suit. For my 8 year old it’s math facts. The kind that come with lots of flash cards. I’m a good speller, but I hate the roteness of it which means I struggle to make sure my kids get what they need. The same with multiplication and division facts. This year I finally found a program that seems to fit us…but now, I wonder if I need to move my oldest back to a more traditional approach. The questions and doubts never end. Here’s how I try to handle the questions.

1) Research. I ask other moms. How are their kids doing? What do they use? What seems to work or what was an absolute failure. It’s important to remember that there are different learning skills and styles. Now there are different approaches that help with most of those styles. But ask others for advice. They might have something that worked brilliantly or not so well. With all the choices out there for homeschoolers, don’t try to evaluate them on your own.

2) Pray. God know our kids so much better than we do. He’ll direct us to the right approach. Spelling is our bugaboo, but as I prayed about it, I felt a conviction to hold back and work on reading and writing. If the reading excelled, I thought she’d begin to understand when a word just didn’t look right. That approach has paid off. While not an exceptional speller — yet — her spelling is definitely at grade level now. Maybe by next year, we’ll get ahead.

3) Be diligent but relax. I’ve decided my kids stress when I stress. And stress is not really the best environment for learning. My daughter got jazzed about algebra when she realized it was a puzzle. Now to convince her spelling is the same!

How do you handle the questions that come with homeschooling?

Learn more about Cara Putman at her website.

Recently my friend Nicole O’Dell, of Choose Now Ministries, dubbed me the Do-It-All-Mom. The do-It-All-Mom? Me?

It’s a wee bit intimidating. Ya know? Yet, I think many people find homeschool moms a bit over-the-top because of everything we juggle. Think about your life. I bet homeschooling isn’t all you do… here’s a glimpse at some of my hats…

Yes, I’m a mom to the four amazing kiddos in the picture. I am forever grateful that God has entrusted them to us.

Yes, I’m an attorney, but I’m definitely in a season of slowing that down. I stay involved in a couple areas, but I’m not doing litigation, my favorite area, because it doesn’t fit with my life right now. A choice I’d make again — even though I love litigation.

Yes, I’m a contract lecturer at a University and adjunct faculty at a community college. I LOVE teaching and am so grateful God opened these doors. Lest you think otherwise, remember this too is part time.

Yes, I’m a writer — between the hours of nine and midnight most weeks…because that’s when my kids sleep.

Yes, I’m a homeschool mama — it’s a joy and honestly frustrating. If I can be real, I love watching my kids learn. But there are times I long for them to join the school bus crowd. However, God has made it clear this is for us right now, so I do it willingly. Even if it means teaching algebra to the oldest and reading to the 3 year old. I don’t know how one room school teachers did it.

Yes, I serve at our church. It’s the least I can do for the body God has planted us in and for God. He’s given me so much. I’m more than willing to tithe my time and talent for Him. Besides, I’ve long known I learn more when I teach.

Yes, I do a lot. But I hope you’re getting a sense of season. There are ebbs and flows to each of these areas. I love my class at Purdue, but right now it’s not a year round commitment. Maybe some day it will be. I love the law, but it’s no where near full time right now.

How do you balance it all in this do-it-all-right-now-life?

With my longest running friend, Joanna

Distance can get in the way.

A busy schedule.

Simple drifting apart.

I’ve been reminded of that this week as I’ve tried to help my oldest navigate a tricky situation. What a a challenge.

I’ve been trying to remember what it was like as a tween or early teen. I remember not having tons of friends as a tween. Remember I was a real oddity back in the day because I was homeschooled and there weren’t many of us in Nebraska back then — especially in those tween years.

Then as a teen the list grew. In contrast, my oldest has lots of friends. Neighors. Homeschoolers. Gymnastics. Choir. Church. The list goes on. She tends to attract people and says we have to be friendly because we’re the friendly family. And she really takes that to heart. She’s the one who usually welcomes new kids to the team at gymnastics.

That’s what has made this situation so challenging. She’s been hurt. The other girl has been hurt. And I’m trying so hard to help guide her through the process. Realizing what a gift a friend is. Understanding she has to forgive. Maybe ask for forgiveness.

I want her to learn and salvage the friendship. But I can’t guarantee either happens. All I know is if she can learn some of this now, they will be great lessons for the rest of her life.

Any tips for this Momma?

Recently, we hit the part of Exodus where Moses heads up Mount Sinai so God can give him the Ten Commandments and chapters of other laws and ordinances. He’s gone for days. And the Israelites begin to worry. The people approach Aaron and beg for him to make them a god they can worship it. Why? Because they don’t know what happened to Moses. (Ex. 32:1).

Think about it.

Aaron was the voice for Moses. Remember all the times Moses told God he couldn’t speak? Exodus 4:10,  4:13, Exodus 6:13, Exodus 6:30. So God told him, that He (God) would speak to Moses who would tell Aaron what to say. Aaron was eloquent enough that when he retold everything that Moses had told him, the Israelites believed. Exodus 4:30-31. Aaron was the one who threw down his staff and it became a serpent before Pharaoh. Exodus 7:9-10. There are so many times he was intimately involved in the confrontations with Pharaoh.

He had a front row seat to the parting of the Red Sea. We’re talking water splitting and pushed back on either side as you walk through…

Then Moses is gone a few days…the people ask for a god to worship…and Aaron agrees.

What?

The man asks for their jewelry and crafts a golden calf. Exodus 32:4. Then when he sees the Israelites worshiping this calf, he builds an alter to it. Exodus 32:5. But when Moses confronts him, he paints the story differently. “I threw it (the gold) into the fire, out came a calf.”

This is the man who rallied the people to believe God and Moses when they were in slavery. Now they are free and he helps them become enslaved to a false god. One that could never split a sea for them or destroy an army on their behalf.

I take this as a huge challenge. Have I been persuaded to set up a false god? Have I come to undervalue the miraculous in my life? Have I developed a short memory or a long fear?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be an Aaron who takes the gifts God has given me and uses them to bend to the will of people rather than standing for God. Imagine what could have happened if he’d used his gifts to remind the people of the dramatic ways God was with them rather than asking for their gold.

Next week I’ll look at Joshua.