Leslie Vernick
More from Leslie Vernick
Countering the Manipulator’s Tactics
Last week I blogged about 9 common tactics of manipulators and closed by asking you to think about whether you are easy prey for manipulation. If you answered “yes”, it’s important that you understand that you will never change the manipulator when you confront their manipulative tactics directly. They will just switch to another tactic. [...]
9 Common Tactics of Manipulators
Most individuals who regularly use manipulative tactics do not intentionally set out to do harm. They may not even be aware that their relational style is one of manipulation. It is what has worked; it is what they know. Healthy people engage in dialogue where they discuss, negotiate, compromise as well as respect one another’s [...]
Can this Relationship be Changed?
This month I’ve been blogging about the essential ingredients in healthy relationships. Some of you have recognized that your relationships are painful and want to know what steps you can take to turn things around. Last week I emphasized the importance of recognizing that change begins with you. Most of the time we miss this [...]
Speak Up! Change Begins with You
This month I’ve been blogging about the essential ingredients in healthy relationships. Some of you have recognized that your relationships are not so healthy and want to know what steps you can take to turn things around. First it’s important to recognize that change always begins with you. Anna thought she had a good friendship [...]
The Give and Take of Healthy Relationships
As a Christian counselor and coach, every week I listen to the stories of hurting people in difficult, dysfunctional and destructive relationships, even as Christians. It’s important that we learn and teach our children the essential components to building healthy relationships with those you love. Thus far I’ve blogged about mutuality and freedom in relationships. [...]
The Freedom to Choose
One of the ways medical students learn to diagnose disease is by studying healthy bodies. They listen to healthy heartbeats, peer into healthy ears, eyes noses, and throats. They look at normal brain scans and they learn the indicators of healthy blood tests. Bank tellers and merchants learn to distinguish real money from counterfeit by [...]
Healthy Friendships
Barb and I have been friends for over twenty-five years. She can ask me the hard questions and expect an honest answer. I can do the same with her. But I’ve had my share of relationships that have not turned out so well. Some have been difficult; others painfully destructive. As a Christian counselor, I [...]
Developing a Family Approach to Adversity (Part 4)
The motto of The Boy Scouts of America is Be Prepared. In this series, I have given you God’s ways to prepare yourself and your family to handle adversity by learning to see it as a normal part of life, talking about it, processing emotions and learning to take your wayward and fearful thoughts captive [...]
Developing a Family Approach to Adversity (Part 3)
Psychologists know that people cope with difficult things better when they can grasp a bigger picture than just the moment they are in. For example, students endure studying hard for final exams better when they can see the prize of a good grade at the end. Workouts at the gym are unpleasant and painful for [...]
Developing a Family Approach to Adversity (Part 2)
One of my clients told me, “Our family never talked about problems we were having. We pretended everything was fine, even if it wasn’t. I think my parent’s believed that if we didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t really happening.” Ron* was recalling his childhood where he saw his mom change from a vibrant healthy [...]
